This Music Monday is going to be a little different, be blessed!
“Hello, my name is Rishae Pinnock and I am a recovering people-pleaser.”
If there were an annoynmous group for those obsessed with the approval of others this is how I’d introduce myself. Sometimes I wish there were because I’d then know I wasn’t alone. For as long as I can remember, I’ve battled this desire to be liked. I stumbled across a video given to me by my cousin and it was titled, “they just don’t like you” after watching I realized this topic needs to be discussed further.
I did my best to make everyone happy with me. I’d go to great lengths to please the whole crowd but I realized late but thank God I realized it was an impossible task. I realized that passion doesn’t bow to what they think, sometimes it’s painful to be brave and to look fear in the face but we find the strength in God to speak up. The pressure’s off with God.
Growing up, I had to have clothing with the right labels or I’d feel inadequate. I had to have the right friends, sit at the cool table, join the right social clubs and throw the best parties in order to be accepted by those around me. Most of my decisions were laced with questions of, “will this make them like me?” or “what will they think?”
When I became a youth worship leader, I assumed serving God in my worship would overcome my desire to be accepted and loved by people. Boy was I wrong. Receiving applause for a great worship set or a strong voice was like my first hit of a highly addictive drug because not only did I get to worship God and lead others to that place of worship but I was also getting noticed. From then I needed stronger doses to get the same high.
After sometime I realized I was performing for the church, I realized I was working for the approval of my peers. It was exhausting, pleasing people. One wrong look from the crowd and I’d make a sudden change in what I was doing. It wasn’t the spirit leading, it was myself.
Ironically, this need to please others turned me into someone I didn’t like very much. I had to learn the hard way, that becoming obsessed with what people think is the quickest way to forget about what God thinks and after all His opinion is the only one that matters.
Rather than living for an audience of one, I was putting on a performance for the applause of the crowd. Can you relate? Do you find yourself consumed with what people think? Do you spend more time developing your public profile than your personal relationship with God?
Well there’s only one solution. The fear of God is the only cure for the fear of people. Begin today to be driven by the glory of God rather than your ego.
It’s been years since I’ve thought that way and those who really know me can see the difference. I had to remind myself daily that I’m not who others think I am. I am who God says I am. “God says I’m a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). My sins are forgiven and washed away (Eph. 1:7). I am God’s masterpiece (Eph. 2:10). I am a joint heir with Christ (Rom. 8:17). I am greatly loved and accepted by God (Rom 1:7). As I lay down my desire to please people I have been given myself the freedom to please God in all I do” (www.relevantmagazine.com).
It isn’t an easy journey, I’m proof of that especially when you find those individuals who don’t like you for whatever reason remember the only one that matters LOVES you. You must simply keep your ego in check daily as to live for the One who matters most.
Some may question, “How can you be so candid Rishae?” Simple, it’s because we do people displeasure when we hide what God has done for us. He rescued me so the least I can do is help rescue others even if that means sharing a deep, personal story. I learned in making this blog that when people are willing to share their struggles, they can help others who are living under the same burden. If you’re like me, the testimonies you find the most inspiring aren’t those that are easy, comfortable, and happy all the way through. It’s the testimonies of those who have struggled deeply and found God faithful even in the midst of their brokenness. And THIS is why I can do so candid.
This week’s song is “I Spoke Up” by Steffany Gretzinger
Everyone knows that I was the good girl
I did my best to make everyone happy with me
But then I found out that
It was impossible to please the whole crowd
So I spoke up, I spoke out
I learned that love don’t hold its tongue
And passion doesn’t bow to what they think
It’s you and me
Sometimes it’s painful to be brave
To look fear in the face
And know your name
To find your strength